Never let the things people tell you about yourself put you in a constraining box. You are your own person, and are more than what meets their eyes. Once upon a time, when I was young and stupid, I let someone define me and that about broke me for a long time before I had enough.

A boy who thought he knew we very well at that time told me that I had no good qualities about me and criticized my way of coping, labelling it as ‘weak’. At that time, I had a classmate and good friend sitting right next to me and he peered over to look at what was written on my Macbook screen (yes, the criticism was made online) and he immediately went “What the fuck is wrong with this guy?” He told me to pay no notice to such ‘atrocities’ but the damage was done. That was during my mid-teen years where I was indeed still growing into my skin and finding my identity; that hit me with a huge blow.

For years after that, I didn’t think pretty highly of myself. Sure, I had a wonderful personality (ha ha ha) and didn’t have problems making friends and keeping them, but I mostly shied away when someone complimented me on my looks, or my skills. I grew into my skin, and while I’m not the prettiest girl in the room, I know I’ve come a long way from being that girl with frizzy, maggi-like hair and braces.

I unfortunately stayed in contact with the boy who had all those opinions about me, and I hesitated doing a lot of things around him, even though I knew I was good at it, because I feared his judgment. I was afraid he’d laugh at me (which he did) and make me feel little. Then one day, a few years later, a mutual friend told me he thought I was pretty. And I was like, “He told you I was pretty? Are you sure?” To which she nodded. But I’ve long since cared about what he thought about me. Good, or otherwise.

You’re a superstar in your own right. You are great at things, and some things you don’t necessarily want everyone to know about. I know it’s hard to believe that you’re capable of doing great things when people keep telling you that you can’t. Just let them talk, and do your own shit. At the end of the day, you’ll reap the benefits and they’ll still be talking about you.

Good friends don’t pass judgments. They offer feedback and support. If they’re critical of everything that you do, and spam their opinions when they’re not needed, then it’s best to leave them behind. Like: